[T] Bass Ackwards

You were under-appreciated.
Really, you were.
I treated you like garbage.

You resented me for a long time. It scared me a little. I know I hurt you, and I didn't want to do that.

For some reason though, you were so forgiving. After everything.
I appreciate that a lot. I appreciate you.

You have all the right to resent me forever. And you don't.
You deserve to hate me (not only you, many others as well). But you don't.

I find it amazing how you're above all of that, considering I probably hurt you more than I have other people... and yet, someone can hold a few words over my head. Words that they asked to hear.

If you want to hate me, I will give you a real reason. Stop playing childish games and grow up. Say what you want about me and I'd totally respect it. As long as it comes straight from your mouth and into my ears. This hearsay bullshit isn't even funny anymore, it's just cowardly.

If you THINK you heard something from me, why don't you ask me?

Oh, wait. But why do that? That makes far too much sense.

Wanna know what I think? No? Good. You're probably better off that way. I really don't want to wipe your tears off my shoes.

The "S" Word (two)

Something tells me this is going to be difficult.

You asked for it.
You said that it would make you happy.
All I had to do was fulfill this simple request.
So why should I give you the satisfaction?

All you wanted was for me to give in.

[12]

If only I had known...

You'd treat me so much better than I deserve, and I wouldn't know how to deal with that.

VI

Sensei says:
"Your homework... watch Risky Business."

In an attempt to get us to learn this...

Every now and then, saying "What the Fuck", brings freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future.

[T] Because this is what I should have said...

You care too much about me.

I don't think I've ever been told I don't care enough - but I was taken by surprise to hear you say such a thing. I care too much about you? You said that as if you don't know a thing about me. As if you didn't know how I felt about you. As if you didn't care at all.

That's fine. You hurt me. I hurt you. You moved on. And now I can finally do the same. I spent far too long feeling like this was my fault. Like I caused this. I don't think I'd ever put myself through half the shit I did for you again - and I mean exactly that.

How many times have I saved your ass? Can you simply count those on your fingers? How many times have I been there for you, through all the bullshit other people came up with.. through all the shit people put you through? Can you simply count those on your fingers? How many times have I gone out of my way to make sure you were okay? Can you simply count those on your fingers?

If you can, I guess there's no point in asking - but if you can't, please, just tell me what it was that I did to make you feel like this.. what drew this line of hostility and hatred between us.. what did it? And why did I have to suffer for it?

Truth is, until now, I was always afraid of losing you. I cared about you so much, too much, in your eyes. I can't fight for our friendship anymore. I can't fight for you, and live with losing myself. I lost so much of me trying to be a better friend for you. And clearly I wasn't good enough for you, so now I need to focus on me.

I'll always love you; you mean the world to me. But right now, I'm over it.. the pain, the tears, the fights, the bullshit... all of it. And I'm over you too.

The "S" Word (one)

Hard to say, harder to talk about. A common thought and a common occurrence. But why?

Because people can't control their thoughts, and they struggle with trying to control their actions.

One word could do so much damage if the one who hears it misinterprets just what they heard. What do you think I'm talking about?